Great writing, true genius and real talent

I did something dangerous this year: I subscribed to P&W. Now as you know, this is a wonderful publications, but it has 2 downfalls: it is FILLED with MFA programs (costly, unattainable dream of mine), and it can come off as pretentious. Other than that, though, there are some wonder bits of advice and great articles with editors and published authors.

This month features Toni Morrison. I have yet read her books, but I’m quite aware of them. I’m reading about her latest, “Mercy”, and it sounds wonderful but I’m definitely intimidated.  How does she come up with these amazing plots, how does she weave fabalism into it?

This then gets me thinking. I have come to the conclusion that I am at heart a fantasy writer, no getting around it, but I WANT to be more literary than that. Which is not to say that a fantasy writer CAN’T be literary (Octavia Butler, Ursula LeGuin, Marion Zimmer Bradley), but there’s a part in me that says this current book I’m writing is good, but it has in no way tapped my true potential.  I just spent the other night completing “To Kill a Mockingbird”, which in a long life of reading books, has to be the single most perfect book I’ve ever read. As my friend just said, perhaps it is the best book ever written.  I spent the night wishing I was Harper Lee…

Back when I had the money to attend WriterStudio.com, I was becoming a better writer. This is my gift, and when I put blood, sweat and tears in the CRAFT (not the grunt work), it’s amazing what I can tap into and put on the page. (For me, this is both a Calling and a Gift.)

All THAT being said, I also am coming to enjoy and envy the SF/F writing crowd. They write for a LIVING. Can I do that and maintain the level of craft that I really do want to achieve? I don’t want to write just to entertain (although I do appreciate and highly value authors who do), I want to MOVE people. I can’t see the point otherwise.

I’m not sure how to get there and I’m a little scared of the journey too. Years back, I took a poetry workshop, back when poetry was something I just plugged into and barely needed to edit. I could see how people were knocked out by my stuff, some of whom had taken numerous workshops. It was natural to me, back then, and the RUSH was quite heady. My ego does not need that kind of temptation now, I’m already in love with anything excellent I write.  (Deal with it. Writers need a certain amount of hubris.)

How to I get the real talent that I know lies within me out? Can this sub-par novel I’m writing be something more, something transcendent? Am I in the wrong genre? Then why do all my plot idea pan out as fantasy in some manner?

Too many questions. Write later, take day off…